This is not a storm cloud. I knew it could not be a storm cloud when I turned the corner at my home that day, but I did wonder, could it be? The sights in my eyes made my mind run through a lot of "could be's," such as a plane crash? A military exercise that went wrong? A gas explosion at a gas station? A chemical explosion? None of those questions were even close to what I saw here in a photo that does not even begin to give justice. I have never seen a cloud as large, wide, tall, and as dense as this. I also had never seen the white parts of a cloud covered in such shiny irridescent colors. I quickly went inside simultaneously grabbed my camera and checked our local online news. This cloud was a smoke cloud created from an out of control wildfire here in Myrtle Beach that unfortunately made the news and caused many losses, but incredibly and thankfully not one life was lost.
This photo was taken from my front yard, and even though the cloud seemed to be so close I could touch it..the distance is approx 20 miles away, which is actually WAY TO CLOSE! If the winds had shifted like they were forcasted to do I sincerely doubt I would be sitting here at my computer sharing this with you. 76 homes were lost that day not counting all the cars burned to steel skeletons.

If you would like to help the many victims who lost everything they had, except for the breath of life, you may do so by clicking HERE, or HERE. Thank you.

Update 8/9/09: One person and the first person to move back into his neighborhood and home just happened last week. Check it out here and click on "Back Home in Barefoot."

His Prom

It hasn't been too long ago when I held him in my arms when he was a wee little one, and dreamed of the approaching years ahead. It only seems like yesterday.

Hiding & Peeking...

....with a sparkle in her eyes with "Bunny."

Dirty Face Pose

But the eyes have it!

"His Will Wednesdays"

I don't post much on my blog, and it's not because I don't have something to say, or I am a fake...so far from that... I just don't have the words because my words are trapped in trapped emotions right now. Also what is me trapped I don't know what direction to go with it, and other people like me, their blogs are open. I just don't have the courage to do that, but I pray I do gain the courage because my words need to be spoken.

I really don't know where to begin exactly because this coincides in some kind of way with my last entry.

I guess I will begin with the first blog I checked on this morning, which had been removed, so I checked some other blogs to see what was going on. I did have doubts in the last 2 weeks, or maybe a little longer with the decision of a home birth with an unhealthy baby among a few other things, but it was extremely easy to give a huge benefit of a doubt, which slowly began to fade. I just made up my mind I had to stay with the benefit of a doubt because "What if it was?" until it was proven to me.

Since it has been proven to me, I do not feel whatsoever any negative feelings toward "B" or the "April Rose's" blog based on what I know. Let me explain if I can.

This is what I know and this is why I do not have any negative feelings toward "B." On mother's day I posted a comment on her blog wishing her a " Happy Mother's Day." The next post after mother's day on her blog, I totally assumed was about my wishes of a happy mother's day because she did not post my comment and was referring to the hurtful comment(s) she had received on mother's day i.e., something about being happy with a sick baby-I can't remember exactly.

I immediately emailed her, and explained why I only commented those 3 words on mother's day, and I was not trying at all to inflict hurt, and why I was only able to comment with those 3 words, and nothing else. I also told her mother's day was painful for me, and words were difficult for me to own, and a vague explanation of why, but regardless of deep pains many mother's live with, and the trials and tribulations of being a mother with all it's varied emotions we still should be HAPPY that we are mother's! and I wished this for her even in her pain. I also shared vaguely with her my spiritual struggles..remember I have a difficult time finding, freeing, and owning the words, so it was very brief. I didn't expect her to email me back, and she didn't, but....

The next "His Will Wednesday's" she had me posted for prayer-I needed direction in my life....I can't remember, I think something about seeking God's Will, or something like that.

Then, I see this morning April Rose's blog has been removed, and my previously held doubts I put aside were revealed to me, and this is what else has been revealed to me.

This person "B" does not need our anger, our disappointments, or any negativity, and the reasons why are because she desperately needs and deserves the LOVE, PEACE, ACCEPTANCE, COMFORT, from us through GOD who LIVES in us, so that HE maybe fully revealed to her. She NEEDS HIM and she NEEDS us. She never asked for a dime that I know of, she remembered with the help of the Misty Rice blogger so many people who desperately needed the love and prayers of God, and she even remembered me in my vagueness. I have never, ever on a blog seen so much pain remembered for other's to reach out to in a great time of need I saw in "His Will Wednesdays."

This is really what she needs, that's what she's asking for in the only way she knows how. She deserves it! We should all do a "His Will Wednesdays" and she should always be included,and remembered because obviously she is in some deep pains, and even more so now, and if she has a conscience, which I think she does....she can do without any of our negativity because right now she's in more than we could ever give.

The only thing negative I see in this...is the trust that has been, could be, and can be destroyed with fellow bloggers, and bloggers in general because it creates a "crying wolf syndrome," along with the people who have been deeply affected by such actions, and the overwhelming stress things such as these create for those directly affected, and other's as well.

I have only seen one other blog hoax, and it was really nasty because these people had stolen
money "crying wolf" very loudly seeking donations for their personal "sickness."

Just my thoughts, and finally a few words I can own.

Thanks for listening.

And for "His Will Wednesday's" please remember in your prayers all that are suffering, and all that are dealing with this issues, and any other issues we all face in painful, difficultm different circumstances and situations.

In His Love,
amanda